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Re: Pain, petrified fear and volcanoes

Vashti (
Fri, 26 Jul 1996 11:52:41 -0600

Date: Fri, 26 Jul 1996 11:52:41 -0600
From: Vashti <>
Subject: Re: Pain, petrified fear and volcanoes

At 04:28 PM 7/26/96 +0100, you wrote:
>In message <> anthony
>awful wrote:

>> > In message <> Anexia wrote:
>> [...]
>> > Though my own awareness leads me to see myself and other humans
>> > as being subject to severe limitation in all aspects of their
>> > being, there might reasonably be said to exist, an exclusive,
>> > individual perception of reality.

>Sorry for the delay but I moved recently - something I do several
>times a year on a fairly regular basis - and got a chest
>infection on arrival. So, I've been concentrating more on
>breathing than writing lately.

I am sorry to hear you were ill. I have been in some pain, myself, but I try
to "meditate through it" occasionally, I have need of pain medication, but
actually pot works much better at the times I am really in pain. For a
chest cold thing i would have given you some hyssop tea with peppermint.
(cold or hot, it does the trick)

>I wrote the paragraph above, just in case there's any confusion,
>and anybody thinks it matters, to which you responded:
>> some people are in more pain than yourself.
>Sad for them. Lucky for me. I'd like to keep it that way for as
>long as possible.

It is difficult to do without resorting to some kind of drug,
can be accomplished.
>> you have the comfort of using hallucinagens for exploration.
>I haven't used hallucinogens for more than twenty years. I would
>under some circumstances though, and I'm certainly proposing
>their use by those of the dying and terminally ill who feel that
>their situation might be helped by the use of these drugs.

I have not used hallucinogens since 1973, I think. But I am with you. (and
in the book of Wisdom it says : "There is no bad drug" ahem...on and on I go...

>> there are those in desperation. hopeless.
>Maybe if all else failed, hallucinogens might catapult them out
>of that unpleasant state of consciousness, especially if there
>were people with the appropriate skills, prepared to assist.

How would you assist them?

>>you are hopefull.
>Most of the time I am. I hope it continues.


>> the hope you have, envelopes your entire being.
>Yes but this envelope's been through the system a few times
>and there are a bit of wear beginning to show.

through what system?

>> you would enter the void as a doorway -- walking beyond.
>I hope you're right about that. The last time I encountered
>said manifestation, the pace was somewhat quicker than a walk
>and in the other direction.
>> maybe, hallucinagens applify fear

sometimes they do...sometimes they transform it.

>Maybe they do. Maybe in some cases this might be therapeutic.
>For example, I have lived in varying degrees of fear for most of
>my life. Maybe the experience of fear is a necessary part of the
>natural process. I sometimes suspect that the manipulators of
>the social system I live in, use threat as a tool. If they do,
>it's certainly worked on me.

Yes...I look at my garden in the morning and wonder why I can not plant
maijuana there...OH!! that's right...It's illegal, duh...I might get sent to
jail. I am intimidated by that thought.

>Just so that I can carry on with life despite these unresolved
>fears, I seem to have developed a process where the fears become
>encysted, sealed of from the functioning part of me. Like small
>hard stones carried around in my baggage. As I go through life the
>load of stones gets bigger dragging me down. I can no longer
>address these fears consciously because they are so thoroughly
>encapsulated. Neither can I put them down and walk away from

I do not fear least not in the spiritual sense. It is man that I
fear. Of God there is only awe.

>Then, along comes a fairly mild psychoactive drug like cannabis,
>and the stones begin to crack. Out seeps the old fears, just when
>I'm at my most sensitive and vulnerable. Now the fears are so
>vivid and intense that the only thing I can do is deal with them
>and ultimately accept them.
>Ok, it can be very demanding and soon brings fatigue but at the
>end of a session, I will be a few stones lighter.

I am happiest after a good pot cry. I usually cry about the things that
worry me. i feel cleansed. It is almost grief to leave the planet. But
there is a part of me that wants desperately to go.

>LSD doesn't crack the stones and let the fear seep out it simply
>melts the whole bag in a volcanic eruption of consciousness. As
>it cools, a new terrain can be formed, travelled by a new being.
>What if there are other people like me, weighed down and hobbled by
>their fears? They may come to death's door too heavily burdened
>to make the transition. They may hang about on the threshold for
>months or years incapable of taking that final step, rooted in
>abject misery.
>I've seen it. I don't want it to happen to me. I wouldn't wish it
>on any friend of mine.

so how to stop it?

>> -- i'm not one to use needless drugs.
>That seems very sensible to me, if there is no need for drugs,
>why use them?

But if there is a need for them, why not use them?


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